MY HAIR! Elastic Band! FreeShip!
Item # 1


This is 15 inches of high-grade, clean, healthy, pest-free, 100% pure sun-bleached Californiana! I don't actually surf, but I damn well could have with this hair. I damn well SHOULD have. Sexy! Makes a perfect beer cozy, or you could buy a cage for it and a little wheel for it to run on. Get it while it's hot.

Currently "Lots of money, if I win the Lotto."
Buy It Now for $790.00
This option disappears
once a bid is placed.
First bid 6 Greek Drachmae (0.0153 USD)
Quantity 1
Time left 460 days, 19 hours +
Location Oakland, CA
Country USA
Started Feb-15-02 23:13:01 PST mail this auction to a friend
Ends June-12-03 17:24:01 PST
Payment Money Order/Cashiers Checks. Personal Checks. Other.
Shipping Seller pays for shipping. Seller ships internationally (worldwide).

Click Here to Place Your Bid High Bid
If the link above does not work, your browser is not configured for email. No problem: simply send an email message with your name, your location in the world, your URL (if applicable) and your bid to mahastew@gmail.comThe World (includes cerificate and handsome carrying case)
- Juniper of the Netherlands
Bid History
The World (includes cerificate and handsome carrying case)
- Juniper of the Netherlands
Peace, Joy and Bliss from the Finger Lakes Region
- Billie of the Finger Lakes Region
47 cat whiskers
- Commotion Art of Richmond, VA
Equal weight in non-surfing belly button lint
- Matt O. of Navalia Natal-Estomaccia, Washington, DC
"Lots of money, if I win the Lotto."
- Heather of the Moors (British, Dutch and Californian)
One human skull lollipop
- Robert W. of Napa, California
Medium-sized Yap Islander stone disk (currently valued at one oar, one sack of grubs or the entrails of two wild boars).
- Sunflower Surfer of Wilmington, NC
Back-rub every night for a week.
- Larysa R. of Oakland, CA
100 Ukraine Hryvnia (18.8359 USD)
- Mom of Washington, D.C.
6 Greek Drachmae (0.0153 USD)
- Sahadevadew of Never Never Land



Quench the Thirst of Frizzy Hair
by Diana Dudas
(Diana has provided her own answer to a long-standing question here. Thanks, Dudas!)
I think this item it too valuable to place on limited auction. Have you thought of Ebay or Butterfield's? They can also help with a secure transaction, and pest-free warranties. Do you keep it locked up at night?

- Heather of the Moors (British, Dutch and Californian)

The extreme value of this item is EXACTLY why I haven't approached Ebay or Butterfields! "Ebay?" Sounds like a cheap knock-off of my own company. Here at Estew, we use only the highest, top secret, federal-government-level security systems. The hair has been secreted in our hermetically sealed, titanium vault in Zurich until the winning bid is placed and verified, at which time it will be delivered by the company jet to its new owner. Congratulations on your current high bid! Please remember, all bids will be verified.
I stared at it for awhile and I think I saw it move....

- Deb T. of Bronxville, Noo Yawk

This isn't actually a question. Maybe you're wondering if the hair is alive? Its superior vibrancy and softness belie the fact that it is indeed a nonliving thing.
Is there enough to stuff a pillow or is it just a locket situation?

- Margaret B. of Tulsa, OK

Somewhere in between - it would make a lovely scarf or oven mitt.
Stewster, I'm not as interested in your little ponytail as I am in what's underneath it! Can I run my fingers thru the nape of your neck at a negotiable rate?

- Wisdom Goddess of Palo Alto, CA

An unusual request! But sorry, I have just run your proposition by my business partner and she provided a firm executive decision in the negative.
Why would I bid on your hair, I have plenty of my own. You should hold on to that ponytail. you know you will never grow that back again.

- Leslie B. of San Francisco, CA

I understand you have your own hair, and I'm sure it's lovely. But has your own hair ever been to India? Of course not, most hair hasn't. Does it speak French? This hair DOES! Don't miss out on this unique opportunity! And not to worry, our team of scientists are working feverishly to develop a cloning technique to generate more product.
Can you tell me how 15 inches of surfbleached and clearly drug-addled hair is superior to eleven inches of surf bleached North Carolineana that actually surfed and speaks broken Portugese and has been to exotic Encinitas? If you can do so without using any words with fewer than seven letters I will up the ante to 10 lira.

- Sunflower Surfer of Wilmington, NC

Clearly, greater lengthiness overrides east-coast potency, suggesting superior fertility, vibrancy - entirely drug-free, incidentally.
My gerbils love hair for their nests. But they're not from California and your hair is. If I buy your hair for them and use it in their cage, will it upset their chi?

- Sahadevadew of Never Never Land

Not at all! This hair has been pressure-treated with a rare feng-shui technique which makes it universally harmonious with all creatures.
You rekon it myt work on the end of my broom stick?

- Frank M. of Mountain View, CA

Absolutely, but why on earth would you want to do that? This item makes an incredible ascot for any social occasion.


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Product Reviews
Product Review Manufacturer's Comments
Dear Stewart, Your hair is so beautiful! Unfortunately, I can't afford myself to take part in the bidding but I would like to wish you sincerely to obtain the highest price for you precious hair, Stewart! As for me, one month ago I said Good-bye to my hair too (I wore it for 28 years) and I really miss them now. We have a proverb that sounds in translation something like this:"" Until you lose something, you don't start value it". I think that the same with you, am I right? God bless you abundantly! I SINCERELY wish that you all your plans and aims will be achieved successfully! Warmest regards...

- Victoria of Kiev, Ukraine

Thanks so much for your rave review! Remember, money isn't everything! There is more in life to offer - you can always place a bid of something special which money just can't buy. Use your imagination!
Your mental....! I'm afraid I could never afford something as special as this.

- Mad Scottish Lassie of Edinburgh, Scotland

You might be pleasantly surprised, don't rule it out yet.
You definitely have too much time on your hands. . .Good for you!

- Lewis D. of San Francisco, CA

Being unemployed helps a lot.